Sister I get you.
Anger is a good signal because it is the next phase of healing and processing the infidelity.
Right now it is directed at the AP and it’s normal, but she is not the right target for the anger (in part is because it’s a disgusting human being who gets validation feeding into your pain, as you are the paragon to destroy to soothe her low self worth. So she is a pos, no questions) for she is powerless to hurt you.
She is That irrelevant as a person, a woman, an adult.
The reason he she can hurt you is because someone else gave her that power by betrayal of his wife: your husband.
Willingly, knowingly, intentionally, he elevated that skunk that could never reach you or any other woman of value really, into your weak spot. He had the keys to your inner world, what you had as most secret because you chose him to belong in it, and he let the other woman in to vandalize it all so she would feel at least superior to you after she desecrated your world and left just ashes. And he did that with no hesitation, to get a pinch of validation from a low value female.
So you see who is the true villain here.
The AP is scum, but is a mere accomplice to the story.
This doesn’t mean that feeling anger towards the AP is wrong, it’s pretty natural, but the AP is just a weak pile of trash, a complete stranger that doesn’t know you, has no reason to hold a grudge against you or anything else that justifies the devastation that they enjoy inflicting upon you.
Imagine a person who randomly beat the crap out of someone on the street just because they felt like a shit about themselves and leaving someone else bleeding on the ground helps them to feel just a little bit better and less worthless.
Yes they deserve contempt and a memorable ass kicking, because this kind of people are trash, but they would be harmless without our partner holding us hostage to be beaten up, because in the end they are both cowards.
You are directing your anger towards her now because unconsciously you are still protecting your husband, the AP is an external threat, far easier and calming than the painful truth, that the evil was coming not from the outside, but from inside.
One day it will click, naturally, and you will address it correctly towards the only one who deserves the shitstorm and shall bear its full wrath.
Let the feeling flow, she is trash, you have right to hate her, is all good.
Not gonna lie here, Ieven after being over the full infidelity trauma, I would be really glad to have the AP alone with me for just 5 minutes, with no other soul around. that would last a lifetime for him and guarantee he’d never ever think to do such thing again to anyone.
And I am not likely the only one who would enjoy some good old fashioned tribal retaliation.
Still those people are worth nothing of your time and energy.
[This message edited by BackfromtheStorm at 1:10 PM, Wednesday, April 29th]
