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I am sure there are other people that did but I am wondering if anyone else did it completely alone? We didn’t tell any family, any friends. The job where it happened at was a second job and we weren’t close to anyone there so the day he had no contact with her, there was no contact with anyone else there. I just sometimes wonder if it would help me to be able to vent to a friend, which he has told me to do, but I have chose not to. I just would like to hear how it worked out for other people.

We had a situation the other night where we had to go back to the place he used to work, a medical facility, we planned it right because since he used to work there we can still see the schedule, but he ended up having to stay overnight running into the next shift. It wasn’t what we planned. We never saw the AP, but knowing she was there made me want to crawl out of my skin. The next morning a nurse came in that was one of her friends that he had worked with to discharge us and acted like she didn’t know him. Everyone on the overnight shift was so nice and accommodating and talked to me but this girl pretended he was a stranger. He always thought no one knew because it was a very short emotional text affair but this girl was her friend and wouldn’t even look at me and made sure when we walked out the AP wasn’t anywhere to be seen. She knew.

This is one of those times I wanted to call one of my girlfriends and scream and cry and ask if I was being completely unreasonable for my reaction. He told me I was not and he wanted out of there faster than I did but I still wanted to talk to someone else. I just haven’t brought myself to tell anyone about it. Anyone else?

This happened 10 days before our 20 year anniversary trip we are taking that I thought we were doing so great for and then BAM just throw all this shit in our face. Our mistake, we will go to a different town for a medical emergency next time.

[This message edited by Emotionalaffair24 at 6:34 AM, Monday, June 15th]

Yes, I did.

It is a special kind of hell, and although I got out of there tempered beyond belief, it took 18 years and I had few points were I could have ended it, coincidentally enough there was something to stop it but it was just chance. I made it out. Barely. If the lowest moments were in any other point in time, I would not be writing here.

I was a very strong person before. Now that person looks frail to me.

Goes to say I won’t recommend it.

I had one friend and these forums to vent to. D day was over a year ago, and we're in a much better place now. Partly because of help and advice I received here.

These forums are a great spot for that. The ability to vent and receive advice from others who have also gone through this and are sympathetic is a great resource. I leaned on it pretty hard and I've stuck around to try and pay it forward.

I can only imagine how it felt for you to be there the other night. I'd have been ready to climb the walls too. That feeling of seeing others who you're sure know about it would be so uncomfortable. Whether they actually know or not isn't really the point. That feeling that they might is bad enough. I get it. I definitely feel for you. You've been heard.

The only person I told was my mother, and only because she previously told me about her affairs. I don't talk with her about it much, though, as she's great at listening but not so great at coming up with advice. My BH didn't want me to tell anyone, and I don't think he did himself, either. When I've felt like I'm struggling with my feelings and need someone to talk to, I used my IC, this site, or most recently, ChatGPT. I think it's going okay. I often worry my husband could use more outside support, whether that would change our relationships with whomever he told or not. He has an IC, at least.