Asterisk (original poster member #86331) posted at 10:21 PM on Tuesday, April 28th, 2026
Mantras are an invaluable tool when dealing with the kind of hurt and anger that arise with infidelity. I think they are especially useful for people who are in the early throws of dealing with this painfully disorienting issue.
There are many mantras here at SI. And I support them when used in a general way. However, I have personally felt it when the mantra had become so rigid it seemed more like a dogma to obey verses a mantra to consider.
In my mind, a mantra is not a statement of fact, rather it is a suggestion that is applicable most of the time. Whereas a dogma does not allow for those moments where it is not effective. Instead, it shifts the blame of the failure of the dogma to properly match the situation onto the person it is being applied to. Dogmas are sneaky buggers, easy traps to fall into!
As important as mantras are, I believe any group, whether religious or secular, that is attempting to help others, must always be careful not to allow their mantras to become dogmas.
Asterisk
WontBeFooledAgai ( member #72671) posted at 10:28 PM on Tuesday, April 28th, 2026
Actually no, there are many different viewpoints on SI. If anything, many people here have been criticized as being too "pro-R".
If everyone is telling you basically the same thing and you will not consider, maybe it is time to ask if YOU are the one fooling yourself.
torso1500 ( member #83345) posted at 10:31 PM on Tuesday, April 28th, 2026
could you please share what specific mantra(s) you are referring to?
It can come across as more of a passive-aggressive dig when you withhold what you're actually criticizing.
