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She is 17 years old and is processing this with the mental capacity of a 17 year old so you have to let her make her choice and accept it. She may very well ask to come back home in a week a month or so when she realizes she's happier with you but for now I would suggest you agree with her decision, keep things light, and let her know that she will always have a bedroom at your place

Get Individual Counseling, if the first person isn't a fit, try another. I found counseling to be a great help.

She’s still in the house. But she’s doing all she can to get the family’s house ready to be used. It might take a bit longer that I realized. So, she is sticking to her plan to leave the home and us. She doesn’t even consider seating at the table and discuss if there’s any possibility of fixing the relationship. This confirms my theory that she’s emotionally invested on someone else, although, she denies.
The problem is that, having her around the house, doing casual stuff - like she always did – is disrupting for me. I’m always trying to keep up with what she’s doing, at what time she arrives from work, who’s she talking to, what’s going on in the background, etc. That gives me no peace and I can’t stop doing it. I still seek for "whys" and "hows". I can’t sleep properly, I can’t focus on tasks, I can’t function. I miss my best friend and my wife and I understand what people say to me, that it will get better and that I’ll find my way without her, but… I just can’t see it …
I’m just venting …

Sorry you are going through this but your feelings are very normal. Keep venting here. It is a good place to let out your frustrations and emotions.But you will get through this. Do your best to implement a hard 180 with her and detach from her. This will help. Focus on you and your healing. Good luck.

When I went to a counselor before confronting my WXH, she recommended that I ask him to leave the house so I could "get my balance back." So, when I confronted him about the A, I said I wanted a D and can he leave the house. We were renting, so no problem with ownership of asset etc. He stayed that night and was gone the next. I think he couldn't wait to have the freedom to see the AP, who was also married at the time.

Before he left I was getting up in the middle of the night and taking photos of their text messages on his ipad and not sleeping because I was so frantic about finding out what they were doing. Once he was gone from the house and I couldn't do that, I was able to quit fixating on it. I found out what I needed and already knew I wanted D. He never asked to reconcile.

Portus

Sorry friend, but you have to take what’s happening seriously...
Get the separation settlement done and dusted as fast as possible.
Have your future as clear as possible.
Have you two discussed ownership of the present home? Or removal of her on lease? Have you filed taxes together over the last years? Are you registered in a relationship? Any joint finances or debts?
All things you need to clarify.

This is not revenge or getting even. This is simply facing up to the reality of her decision. A decision she is free to make and take.
You can ask that she has a schedule – that you two have a deadline for when she leaves. You can explain that as this isn’t how you envisioned your relationship, then having her around is painful. You can’t start your healing with her constantly around. That is normal. That is something that she should understand.

I’m guessing the daughter – at her age – will be allowed to chose where she resides. I’m also guessing your ability as parents to impact this legally will end once she’s 18. I would suggest that you tell her she can be where she wants, as long as both are in agreement. Sort-of let her have her room with you, but also allow her a room with her mom. It will settle into some acceptable pattern shortly.

For the record: I know you cant "make" her leave – irrespective of ownership of home or name on lease – if she has a legal residence in that home she needs to move on her own free will UNLESS there is a signed separation agreement that specifies who has residence. Then you could start eviction.

We are not materialist, at all. Me or her. She doesn’t want to take almost anything with her, except one of the cars (her’s) and personal belongings. I’ve been providing for our family since the beginning and only recently she started contributing. She feels that all our stuff was ours until the point where she wanted to leave. Then she just call it "your stuff, you paid for it". From a absolute point of view, I don’t disagree, but I feel its our stuff, so I just told her to take half of it with her. She’s going to a empty house where she's going to need stuff. But she don’t want it. I guess she want’s to built her life from scratch…
The 180 says I should not help her in facing her consequences. And I shell not … I hope.
The house is rented. No issue there either.
Daughter is dealing with a problem that she didn’t choose, but it is what it is. We just need to make it as easy as we can, so, if she want’s to go with her mother, fine. If not, even better. Her mother will be living 5-10 minutes walk away. So, I’m guessing she will be back and forward between the two homes all the time. And that’s fine.
We are not legally married and in my country, that means no rights or obligations between the two of us. So I guess, this is all the easy part of our separation. I don’t see her unhappy about it. So, as of this moment, I just worry about my recovery from this. But, I guess I have to live one day after the other, like everybody else.
Thanks all for your support.