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Newest Member: Rainbowpuker

Just Found Out :
Partner and his work colleague

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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 6:36 AM on Monday, October 27th, 2025

I am going full no contact I won’t be allowing him into my home. I’m not stopping him seeing our children but I won’t be making any arrangements for him.

I’m sorry it has come to this but I think you really don’t have any other options at this point.

It is at the point where YOU have to stop enabling him and his lies and allowing him to keep you as his plan B (back up plan).

The audacity that he thinks he can live within your home and cheat in you — in front of your kids. mad

Every interaction with him turns into an argument. I’d like to suggest that there is a way out of that loop or warp. Here are a few suggestions:

No contact or contact only via text (which I may have suggested earlier)

You don’t need to respond to ANY text message that is rude or insulting or offensive etc. By ignoring him you are removing yourself from his manipulative control.

It may be hard at first to ignore him, but gets easier over time.

When he comes to pick up kids, try not to have to see him. Have a friend or relative available for hand off until he can prove he can stop being argumentative and manipulative.

Set a deadline for starting at least child support. Do not let him keep you in limbo longer than necessary.

Here in the US the person that files for support first gets the largest share. If the OW has a child by him and files first, she may get the larger share. Just something to be aware of.

Stay here for support. You have made a hard decision but I believe it’s the right one for where you are right now.

Just remember — he’s no longer the guy you married. He’s morphed into someone or something else.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 6:37 AM, Monday, October 27th]

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 15064   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8880751
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 Missmee (original poster member #86349) posted at 4:53 PM on Monday, October 27th, 2025

Communication of today has been from him
A message of - you need me home ❤️

Spoke to him and he’s basically saying he wants to come home for the kids but he is in love with the affair partner/girl friend and has feelings for her. If he comes home I can’t have access to his phone as he’s keeping in contact with her.

I calmly told him to call me when he gets his head out the clouds and we will talk about if I want him back then. Then put the phone down.

This is the very reason he needs blocking!

posts: 62   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2025   ·   location: Uk
id 8880776
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Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 6:22 PM on Monday, October 27th, 2025

I think he is on some sort of Kickapoo joy juice. Does he really think his every breath comes out in rainbows? Don’t answer the phone. Don’t answer texts. If he has the kids that should be the ONLY time you ever converse with him.

Go see an attorney today and start getting out of this horror show.

[This message edited by Cooley2here at 6:23 PM, Monday, October 27th]

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis

posts: 4741   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8880781
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