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Just wondering if there is a secret way to message each other on Facebook? It seems my WH and this person are on Facebook at the same time a lot. They are not friends on Facebook but he knows her and they happen to work together. Her profile accepts messages from people who are not friends of hers. I have his password and check it once in awhile. Thats his preferred method for fishing. I havent seen anything but just wonder if there is a way they can message each other without me seeing it when I am on his profile? I just find it weird that they are on there at the same time or within minutes of each other. I can see when she is logged in when I am on my messenger.

There are encryption options within FB Messenger. I don’t know what all that does and does not do when it comes to being logged into the same account from a second device. You might be able to grab your husband’s phone and turn off these options without him knowing, see if things start popping up on other devices.

Adding to this. Tonight I could see they were on at the same time. I started acting like I was messaging her but did not send anything. After awhile I messaged WH watcha doing. She got off Facebook. He called me within 3 minutes and said my messenger activity was strange. I asked him why is that? You messaged me earlier today and I saw you were online. He replied why didnt you just text me like usual? I sent you a meme. Am I off base wondering why he said my activity was weird? I usually do not message him. I just feel like she said something to him. Maybe I am paranoid, pstd.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninaz at 4:20 AM, Thursday, October 3rd]

You can set messages to disappear. That's what my exWP did. The AP wondered why the messages kept disappearing, so she started to take screen shots of them before they disappeared. After she became suspicious of him and tracked me down, she sent me the screen shots.

Sly and calculated, ass-covering on his part. Another reason I don't want to deal with him any more.

Search "disappearing messages on messenger"

The setting for disappearing messages looks like it's within the individual conversation.

I had to click on the i inside the actual conversation to get its settings. scrolling down, I found that setting.

There are also secret conversations, but I think that is just encryption.

Yes! There is something called Facebook secret messaging. It keeps it kind of incognito. I think it disappears or just goes into a different area, I’m not quite sure. I’ve heard of it, I’ve seen it, but I have not played with it. I think I stumbled upon it accidentally by clicking buttons one day and that’s about as far as it went.

I use disappearing messages on messenger.
You can also hide when you are online (your active status).
You can hide your story from a specific person or more than one person.
You can hide chats too and have multiple chats going with one person.

And you can have more than one account and switch between them in settings.

Him saying you being unusual on messenger makes me think he’s up to something.

Him saying you being unusual on messenger makes me think he’s up to something.

He’s shady.

Remember cheaters will use any means to attack you (the betrayed). It’s called DARVO - look it up. It stands for Deny Attack Reverse Victim and Offender.

Your H attacks YOU when you get too close to finding out HIS lies or shady behavior.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 6:31 AM, Saturday, October 5th]