Topic is Sleeping.
EllieKMAS (original poster member #68900) posted at 4:57 AM on Sunday, July 5th, 2020
Prefacing this by saying I have utmost respect for vets and I know 'murica day is usually not their fave holiday.
But my exdouche was a vet. And he haaaaated the fourth. I love fireworks, and the smell of gunpowder, and the booms and bangs. When he was here if I acted like I was enjoying all that, he would be so pissy with me. This is the first fourth of July in a decade that I've been able to enjoy without having to tiptoe around him and his jumpiness 
Hope you're miserable and jumpy as fuck shithead! Cus I'm enjoying my fucking freedom!!
Yeeeaaah. Still haven't gotten to meh yet. Working on it 
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
BetterTimesAhead ( member #70001) posted at 6:13 PM on Monday, July 6th, 2020
Oh Ellie please teach me how to be you. I am still mired in my mess and hating every minute of it. I want to get to where you are - forget about meh. Thanks again for the laugh!
Me: BS - 56 Him: WH - 57 DDAY: 2/22/2019 - Three year EA and PA Filed for D 9/2021 - signed the papers 8/2023 - time to rebuild***************An apology without the action to back it up is just manipulation.
Outoflove2020 ( member #72682) posted at 11:38 PM on Monday, July 6th, 2020
^^^^^^^ This
BetterTimesAhead - I think this every time Ellie posts something!
[This message edited by Outoflove2020 at 5:38 PM, July 6th, 2020 (Monday)]
DDay 1/15/2020.
Separated 3/1/2020
Still healing but in a better place
EllieKMAS (original poster member #68900) posted at 11:47 PM on Monday, July 6th, 2020
Oh girlies - I promise you I did not get to here overnight. But part of my processing was remembering my fabulosity. You two are both pretty fuckin fabulous too you know?
It's a mental game. And I still have days that it is really hard, that I am really sad, that I am so angry I'm glad I sold all my firearms. It's a process, but trust me when I say YOU ARE BOTH WORTH YOUR EFFORT.
I posted this on a different thread, but thought I'd share with you too:
IME, especially after the last 19 months of my life dealing with a cheater, false R, injuries, pandemics etc etc etc.... after all that bullshit, here's some things I KNOW in my bones.
-Life is too. damn. short. to surround yourself with negative energy. And it is way harder to keep your own energy positive when you have negativity pulling it away.
-If people in your orbit are not enhancing your life in a positive way, then it's not worth the energy keeping them there.
-It is not my job to manage other people's emotions.
-I do not owe anyone pieces of myself. I do not owe them my time, or my energy, or my emotional investment.
-I do owe myself the space I need to take care of my emotional and mental well being.
I live by these rules, and even tho it's hard sometimes, really putting on my own mask first has helped me more than I would have though possible a year ago. And just wait - once you really move out of the sad phase and into the anger phase those truths will come at you so fast your head will spin! Have faith and keep on steppin!!
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:03 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020
'Merica Fuck Yah!!
Glad you had some fun this year.
Keep on healing ladies. Keep on healing.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Hedwig ( member #74175) posted at 4:28 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020
Ellie! Did you put this on your list of things you weren't going to miss?
I love having these moments of realization where you're like: oh damn, I can actually enjoy this now! I'm flying to Greece early tomorrow morning and exhole hated flying.
On a different topic: did you sell your fire-arms because of your anger of because of something else?
Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years
EllieKMAS (original poster member #68900) posted at 5:02 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020
On a different topic: did you sell your fire-arms because of your anger of because of something else?
Initially it was really because I needed the money, but I have had quite a few rage-y days that I say to self "Yeah, glad you don't have guns in the house today." Shooting was something we liked doing back when, so having them was kind of triggery (no pun intended) anyways. Someday I'll get one again though cus I was a hell of a good shot and I really did enjoy going to the range. I want a pink Glock next time. Cus I can, that's why.
And fuck yes, I added this to my list
Man that 'things I don't miss' list has gotten really long!
[This message edited by EllieKMAS at 11:02 AM, July 9th (Thursday)]
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
maise ( member #69516) posted at 5:50 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020
Saw the title of this thread and immediately knew it was Y O U. LOL. 💗
BW (SSM) D-Day: 6/9/2018 Status: Divorced
"Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
— Rumi
Muggle ( member #62011) posted at 6:40 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020
We all need a "Mastercard" commercial about the cost of FREEDOM! LOL
You go girl, you got this! So glad you got a moment of FREEDOM in the sun to enjoy the day your way.
Amazing how a little bit of freedom changes your outlook on life. Sometimes it's the little things that really make you take notice.
I had a "me" spontaneous moment the other day. I went by myself and had cheese enchiladas and a blue raspberry blended margarita. It was soothing for my soul, so I understand how much difference something can make. It didn't bother me that I was alone. The food tasted just as good, and I didn't have to engage with anyone but the waitress. We had fun making conversation between serving the three tables she had. I noticed so much when alone that I never observed when a couple. It's like seeing a whole new world through a child's eyes.
EllieKMAS (original poster member #68900) posted at 6:57 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020
Oh maise
Yeah totally still hope he had a damn heart attack. That 'meh' mindset is really elusive some days. I think it's nagging at me cus 7/29 is the 1 yr anniversary of dday2. Trying not to dwell/focus, but it is in the back of my mind. Ugh. He's a fucking fucker with shit for brains. Fuck that guy.
And muggle - guuuuurrrrrl... You had me at cheese enchiladas! Cheese is always soul soothing
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
Maudlin ( member #70107) posted at 5:28 PM on Friday, July 10th, 2020
I super get hoping he has a heart attack...and I’m a vet 😂
I’m all out here living my best life and got a shit ton of everything I wanted in the divorce (since the weakly coward knows he will lose his job for his extracurricular) so I get you.
No more Lowlife cheating asshat, it’s all cake from here on out. Wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.
(As am aside, the whole “be the bigger person” thing only ever gets thrown at women. He can fuck hookers but I’m honest on Facebook and I’m the bad guy? Nah. Not doing that.)
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 6:11 PM on Friday, July 10th, 2020
I am a vet. And 'Merica!
But there is nothing like blowing shit up - even metaphorically - as therapy.
Love fireworks. Especially the ones that have that extra burst and crackle at the end. Hope your exdouche shit his pants and it ran down his legs in front of all his friends.
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades - 2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBS 2018 Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
EllieKMAS (original poster member #68900) posted at 7:30 PM on Friday, July 10th, 2020
Hope your exdouche shit his pants and it ran down his legs in front of all his friends.
Yaaaaassssss. Hellz fucking YES to this
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
Topic is Sleeping.
