How to Help My Husband Stop Worrying All the Time
My husband and I have been trying to reconcile after I had an affair. It's been 2 years since the affairs were over. In order not to hurt my husband more, I was dishonest about some of the facts afterwards. About 8 months into reconciliation, he found out about a second affair that had taken place previously, so I decided to come clean about everything I had done. I shared all the facts with him. Because of the lies he'd been told, he couldn't believe anything I said. I was very transparent with him...he has access to my social media, email, cell phone, etc. I wanted to prove to him that the lies were over and I had come clean about everything. I took a polygraph test per his request and signed a post-nup stating that I'd lose the house if any other facts were discovered. No lies have been told in 17 months. I am very transparent and hide nothing from him. I tell him everywhere I go and check in often. I have Life 360 on my phone, but he won't put it on his. We have good days and then something triggers him and sets him back. I show him compassion, love, and remorse every day in hopes of earning his trust and love back. I know this will take a very long time. He has horrible nightmares and has his own beliefs about things that took place. I can't get those things out of his mind. I fight everyday against his nigtmares...almost like starting over every day. He thinks I'm still lying to him and can't trust me. He wants our relationship to work. I've asked him to get counseling, but he won't. He did get counseling at the beginning but says it didn't do any good. We did go to couples therapy at first. I have been going to individual therapy every 1-2 weeks since this happened to work on myself and show him I'm committed to our relationship. We have been married 22 years and have 2 children. I don't know what else to do to help him stop worrying and try to trust me again. If anyone has any advice to help me, please share. I want our relationship to work. He does too, but he can't seem to let his heart be stronger than his mind. Thank you
25 comments posted: Thursday, December 22nd, 2022
