SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Let’s propose a classification for types of affairs (A):
1. Flirting, "testing the market" (social media, Tinder, etc.)
2. Emotional affair (EA) / limerence
3. Sexting (some categorize this as group 4)
4. Physical affair (PA)
Other factors should also be considered, such as duration, how it was discovered (e.g., whether there was a confession), etc.

-As for the "limbo" experienced by the betrayed spouse (BS), it is more complex to classify. The parameters here would be:
A—The extent and duration of codependency, "hysterical bonding," the "pick-me" dynamic, etc.
B—Symptoms experienced by the BS: insomnia, asthenia (fatigue/weakness), muscle tension, irritability, obsessive doubts (mental scenarios, nightmares, jealousy, hypervigilance), an inability to concentrate, etc.

In reality, the duration is more concerning than the specific symptoms of this "limbo" state itself.

So, my theory is: the milder the affair, the longer the "limbo" lasts.

What do you think?

I think every situation is different. Hard to rank things b/c an emotional affair is as detrimental as a physical affair. For some betrayeds it doesn’t make a difference if it was physical b/c sometimes the emotional connection is far more damaging than a physical affair.

For context I rate my H’s last affair as a 10 (in terms of how bad it was on a scale of 1 to 5) because he was kicking me to the curb for the OW.

For others NSA (no strings attached) physical affairs are just as bad as affairs with an emotional element.

Take a flirting emotional affair. Devastating impact when the betrayed sees how much time and effort the cheater gave to the AP - but barely made an effort to speak to their spouse. Just as bad as a long term physical affair IMO.

Curious to hear other opinions and thoughts.

I get what you want to say.

From my perspective they are all the same, the abuse both sexual and emotional causes the same kind of trauma no matter the "sordid degree" the infidelity reached in practice.

Your question has some logic, the "mild" I would rather call cognitive dissonance between uncertainty and expectation the betrayed partner feels.

You are going to torture you to find out why you have been betrayed by your closest person for a while, that’s inevitable.

If the cognitive dissonance is kept by uncertainty if what it was done to you was "awful enough" to run away and save yourself, then the limbo is longer than to cut ties from, and your abuser out of your life.

The damage is the same, but the trauma may get you stuck.

If the degenerate debauchery of your wayward is so obvious that it gets you to feel a visceral disgust, then it’s easier to sever the toxic connection with your abuser.

Not easy but easier, when you can see the face of evil you can unfreeze, when the evil hides under a guise of human flaws and false remorse, you question yourself.

Then the limbo is longer.

That’s how I can see the answer to your question