SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Apologies in advance if I'm missing a post about this topic already.

I don't follow them closely, so my understanding is that Lily Allen (British singer) and David Harbour (American actor) split up last year with rumors of infidelity reported in the media. Lily Allen just released a new album last week, West End Girl, and OMG the lyrics/details!

Depending on where you are in your SI journey, the songs might be triggering or cathartic, but here's a sample:

I know none of this is your fault, messaging you feels kind of assaultive
Saw your text, that's how I found out, tell me the truth and his motives
I can't trust anything that comes out of his mouth
No, I can't trust anything that comes out of his mouth
How long has it been going on? Is it just sex or is there emotion?
He told me it would stay in hotel rooms, never be out in the open
Why would I trust anything that comes out of his mouth?
Oh, why would I trust anything that comes out of his mouth? -Madeleine

I'm far enough a long now at this point that it doesn't hurt and I don't start ruminating, but man, I remember those early days (years, really) and how much this resonates.

I will say though, that a brief read up on Lily Allen informed me that she cheated on her previous husband at least 2x, so I do find it slightly ironic for a (former?) cheater to put together an album from a betrayed POV. Cheating sucks...

I guess Lily Allen knows how it feels to be betrayed.

Good lyrics.

Sadly, I remember the feelings. I guess sometimes none of it is their fault and sometimes it is

I will say though, that a brief read up on Lily Allen informed me that she cheated on her previous husband at least 2x, so I do find it slightly ironic for a (former?) cheater to put together an album from a betrayed POV

I can see what you are saying here. However I think overall there is understandable lack of empathy for a person who cheats to get cheated on. I have encountered that here and it’s why I rarely lean into my bs stuff here versus continuing to post more with my ws voice.

I can’t say if it’s easier to stomach infidelity after you have inflicted it. Human nature just isn’t that clear cut. A simple example- most of us have all yelled at people but when we are in the receiving end, it’s still not pleasant and doesn’t sting less. Maybe we can identify more with the other’s uncontrollable feelings that caused them to resort to yelling, yet we still may not be able to accept that behavior when we don’t deserve it. And the word deserve can be so loaded too because it invites others to judge one’s worthiness or what they feel that person deserves. Hell, even I have struggled over the years with that towards myself.

But as the others pointed out, regardless of her past relationships, she seemingly was very invested in this one and feels that sting of betrayal as deeply as most. I can relate to that even if someone else may decide it’s hypocrisy.