Topic is Sleeping.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:30 PM on Saturday, December 10th, 2022
But as my therapist says, something needs to change. And that's what I'm going to work on.
Work on or do?
I read your posts to say that you've spent the last 4 years trying to make yourself into someone your H wants. That hasn't worked, and it can't work in a healthy way.
WHo are you? What do you want? Which of your wants are attainable and which not? Where does your H fit in? What's keeping you attached to a man who abuses you verbally and emotionally. The silent treatment, telling you get out of the bedroom (and apparently 'letting' you back in), these are acts of emotional abuse.
Your H is responsible for his own healing. He needs to face his loss. He needs to put himself back together - no one can do it for him. He obviously needs help, but ... you can suggest therapy, but he chooses whether to drink it or not.
I read that your H doesn't want what you want to give him and that he's giving you stuff that is unhealthy for both of you. How do you expect that to end?
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Topic is Sleeping.
