SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

"Based on what you have told us he would have readily gone to bed with her given the opportunity. He has clearly indicated on multiple occasions that he is incapable of fidelity. You said you don't want to break up with him over something that has not happened but an affair has happened

He took concrete steps to figure out a way to sleep with his manager. You caught him cheating, gave him a second chance, he did it again, why continue giving him chances? You are only enabling his behavior because there are no consequences

You have shown him that he can cheat and the worst that happens is you get upset yet you will stay. His behavior will only escalate."

What were the concrete steps he took to have an affair with his manager? He didn't ask chatgpt tips to cheat. I never caught him physically cheating only emotionally.the consequence he just experienced was me finally kicking him out of my apartment.

What were the concrete steps he took to have an affair with his manager? He didn't ask chatgpt tips to cheat. I never caught him physically cheating only emotionally.the consequence he just experienced was me finally kicking him out of my apartment

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Look I see you have a distorted picture of what cheating means.

Apparently seems you would not consider cheating until you surprise him in bed with another woman.
That’s not how it is going to happen, reality is not like a Netflix show.

Betrayal is very simple: you’re mutually committed as a couple, that means honesty, trust and exclusivity. Necessary to build a future together.

When a partner is attracted to an OP, is cheating.

It’s cheating no matter what:
- emotional
- just a kiss
- Just some foreplay
- just oral
- just the tip
- just with condom
- just one night stand
- short term affair
- long term affair

Many betrayed partners will climb over glass walls to excuse their wayward partner with "is not cheating until # pick position on the scale# ".

Reality is there is no better or worse, it’s cheating, betrayal from the first to the last.

The justification is called "minimization " and has the sole purpose to gaslight you, the betrayed partner.

He already gaslights you, don’t do that to yourself, you know is bad and he hurled you

He claims he never would have physically cheated.

This is a standard thing cheaters say. This is typical right sweeping, avoidance, "I did nothing wrong" cheater mentality.

Just to give you an idea, here are other things cheaters typically say:

It’s not what it looks like. Hmmmm it looks like you are cheating.

We didn’t have sex. Hmmmmm define sex. You were both in bed naked but no sex? Please…..

It didn’t mean anything. Hmmmm good to know you broke my heart for something that meant nothing.

I don’t love him/her. Again, cheating occurred so does it matter if you "love" the affair partner?

It only happened once. Hmmmmm another lie.

I swear on my kids’ lives I didn’t cheat. How often do we hear that and believe it? Too often when in fact it’s just a cheater’s self serving behavior to deflect blame from their actions.

You don’t have to break up with him or end the relationship. You seem to be of the opinion that he didn’t cheat. And that’s your decision to make.

Can people change? Absolutely. But only if they want to.

Your BF should be showing you signs that he understands the trauma and hurt he brought you and what changes he is willing to make to endure it doesn’t happen again.