straightup ( member #78778) posted at 11:57 AM on Saturday, April 19th, 2025
My mother, now approaching 80, gave my daughter a very stylish necklace for her 18th birthday.
My Dad had given it to her in better times, pre- affair.
Just wait 45 years and the expensive gift will be ready for re-gifting.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
Mother Teresa
DobleTraicion ( member #78414) posted at 12:28 PM on Saturday, April 19th, 2025
Return to sender? Why accept that which just becomes another pain point (clearly already is)?
Nah, no more baggage received. I think you have enough at this point, dont you?
"We are slow to believe that which, if believed, would hurt our feelings."
~ Ovid
gr8ful ( member #58180) posted at 6:46 PM on Saturday, April 19th, 2025
A gift? Hmmm…..trying to assuage the guilt IMO.
My take: she’s not trying to assuage guilt. She’s attempting to inflict it, or at minimum pain, with some success I fear.
DRSOOLERS ( member #85508) posted at 1:09 PM on Sunday, April 20th, 2025
Hey Ink,
I understand you were heading down the reconciliation route, and something shifted. I don't know the specifics – whether more facts came to light, you realized you couldn't live with the betrayal, or your wife wasn't a suitable partner for reconciliation.
So after outlining my missing context I've noticed more decisiveness in your comments since you made your stance. I think you're on the right path and doing the right thing.
Easier said than done, but I would either not respond or give a flippant response that rolls off your back.
Regardless of her motive, and we can all speculate, she's looking for a reaction. Don't give her one.
I'd probably text her something like:
"Thanks for the gift. For obvious reasons, I didn't get you anything. While it's appreciated, this isn't necessary moving forward. Hope you enjoyed your Easter."
Dr. Soolers - As recovered as I can be
Ripped62 ( member #60667) posted at 5:42 PM on Monday, April 21st, 2025
This period of time does not define your life. I am sorry you are feeling heavy navigating your way out of infidelity.
My experience has been that joy, love, and happiness have come in ways and quantities never imagined. My life post infidelity has been very rewarding. I hope this is your experience also when what you are feeling now becomes a distant memory.
InkHulk (original poster member #80400) posted at 6:57 PM on Monday, April 21st, 2025
My experience has been that joy, love, and happiness have come in ways and quantities never imagined. My life post infidelity has been very rewarding. I hope this is your experience also when what you are feeling now becomes a distant memory.
Thanks, I needed to hear that.
People are more important than the relationships they are in.
Groot1988 ( member #84337) posted at 7:06 PM on Monday, April 21st, 2025
Hi friend.
You have been invaluable to me here and I am sorry we are both here.
I do not have advice but I want to remind you that you are worthy, you have a life left to live ahead of you and you will see better days. I know it.
I think of you often and I hope that you continue on the healing journey and you remain unwavering on your path , I think it will take you somewhere great, you just can't see it yet!
Married 5 years (together 11) Four children Me Bs 36Him WH 35- 4 month PA Dday Oct 6- lots of TT final disclosure Jan 16.
"If we walk through hell we might as well hold hands, we should make this a home"- citizen soldier
