I’m trauma bonded to him....
.....I feel so broken, alone and in pain.
It is good that you realize your emotional dependence on him. If you are not doing so already, start with getting yourself some IC to help you identify coping mechanisms that work for you. IE things you can do when your instinct is to go to him.
You need to make yourself your first priority (resting-even if you are unable to sleep, eating-light things until you are able to tolerate food better, HYDRATE, etc). The basics. You are in survival mode right now. Once you get that under control, you can add some activity (little walk-fresh air, etc)
For me, once I knew I was finally done [with the m] it was not instant. I needed to take some time to get my ducks in a row. I started putting away some money, I identified all our assets/liabilities. I had print-outs from each account, etc.
I made an appointment for a legal consultation. Their office also gave me a list of things to bring along (ie like the above outline of debts, etc).
First thing the attorney did was told me to get items out of the house that were not replaceable. I don't mean hiding assets. It is items that if your spouse did get vengeful, you could not replace. In my case, it was my grandmother's engagement ring.
Where do I even begin the divorce process?
The support here is tremendous. Use it. Even if you do not post, read-read-read. No matter what stage you are at or what path you take, there are pioneers here with unlimited wisdom.
You are not alone.