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I was thinking about how many people on here are experiencing a painful holiday season due to reminders it brings of their partner’s affair or just because betrayal takes such a terrible toll on the psyche.

I’m fortunate that my husband’s affair didn’t take place over the holidays, but the first couple of holiday seasons after it were very hard.

I know Dolly isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but Hard Candy Christmas has been a favorite of mine the last few holiday seasons. Here’s hoping it’s helpful to someone else.

If anyone has any other songs, thoughts, strategies, etc. that have helped you get through difficult holiday season, I’d love to hear them.

[This message edited by Grieving at 2:57 AM, Saturday, December 3rd]

I read hundreds of articles on how to handle holidays after betrayal, written by psychologists, counselors, betrayed spouses... None of that really helped. It turned out my cat is smarter than all of them. I learned a very simple tactic from her, that somehow works for me: Focus on the shiny! Granted, her next steps are: Catch it and murder it! I don’t do that. Yeah, my partner betrayed me, life sucks, and I may never recover from this, but OMG how cute are these owl Christmas baubles! Note: this tactic solves absolutely nothing, it just helps to get through the holiday season.

As for songs, only uplifting ones on my playlist. For example, Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen.

Grieving,

Since Thanksgiving we have committed ourselves to watching 1 Christmas Themed movie\program per day. Trying to catch the Christmas Spirit earlier!

Saving the classics for nearer Christmas, so we're watching programs we normally wouldn't. Last night we picked Jingle Jangle from Netflix. I was very reluctant because it is a Musical. Was I wrong! The movie has a great message and I thoroughly enjoyed the music!

Not a big Dolly Fan, but we will add Hard Candy Christmas to our list. Who knows I might love it.

If anyone has any other songs, thoughts, strategies, etc. that have helped you get through difficult holiday season, I’d love to hear them.

This is a great thread Grieving...thank you for starting it !!!

I like your cat's tactic Hannah47 !!!

Country music was my favorite before my H's A...and Dolly Parton is a favorite of mine as well . "Hard Candy Christmas" stresses the POSITIVE...and that has been a strategy that has worked for ME all my life...so it is a good song for me to sing . My favorite Christmas song is "Mary Did You Know?". I LOVE the rendition by Pentatonix !!

My H and I have started going to parks and other places that have the Christmas lights where you can walk and just enjoy the sights and sounds . Just hearing the laughter coming from children in these places is MAGICAL!! There was an amusement ride area for children in one park where we went with our granddaughter last year. She was able to sit on a carousel horse all by herself...and I was videoing her and her Mom when the ride started. That LOOK of WONDER when she realized the horse was MOVING...just WOW !! She didn't want to go anywhere else after that...she wanted to keep riding that ride !!!

There is a beloved character in NOLA...called Mr. Bingle...that evokes GREAT Christmas memories of Canal Street . Although he no longer is on Canal Street...his legacy lives on...and we get to see him in the different parks in NOLA as well during Christmas . Seeing him...and the artificial snow machines which make the kids go CRAZY...will help to bring SMILES everywhere . It is weird how we quit going to these places when our children grew out of it. But it is FUN to go back now...sometimes with our children and grandchildren...but most of the time...it is just US .

We also watch Christmas themed movies...such as "It's a Wonderful Life"..."Elf"...etc. We don't watch them every day...but that is a pretty cool thing y'all do Rocko !! We are going to watch "A Christmas Story" followed by the sequel "A Christmas Story Christmas" very soon !!!

I love Dolly. That said, I didn't listen to music for a full year after dday. I just couldn't. Everything made me bawl back then. When I was finally ready, I couldn't tolerate genres I used to love. My kids had been occasionally playing some big band stuff that they'd heard in a Fallout game and for some reason I wasn't triggered by that. Next thing you know, I'm listening to big band, swing, and rockabilly. So for Christmas, I'm all about Brian Setzer Orchastra. It's soooooo good, and you just can't be sad because it's so upbeat and cheerful.